Todd Durrant’s Random Thoughts
Follow the efforts of a creative, crazed entrepreneur.

Nov
26

I’ve neglected this blog lately.  It isn’t that I haven’t had a lot on my mind.  I’ve been thinking a lot about things, and I have would-be articles in my head, but the time never seems to become available.

So, just to make sure this blog isn’t stale for too long, I’ll share a new no-budget video with you.   Dylan and my other kids are out of school for the Thanksgiving holiday, so we have a little time to shoot silly videos.   Yesterday (November 25th) we shot footage for two videos, and finished editing one of them.

The first is one of my poppy songs called “Where You’re Going”.   It is one of the songs on the upcoming “Restricted” album which is a concept album loosely focused on the changing music business and my own personal struggles to find a professional place in the world (how to make a living).   We kind of went with a little of that theme in the video, though as usual, it was mostly just for fun.  Also, Dylan took a lot of the initiative in filming this one and just vanished for a few hours with his friends, since I was working most of the day.   We noticed afterward that his camera lens had been dirty– you’ll see the effect of that.   But we ended up liking what he called the “Cloverfield effect” of the cheap, hand-held camera.

Here is the video for “Where You’re Going (Rename’s Video Mix)”:

Oh, and in case you’re interested, there is also a “Rename DJ Club Mix” which will be on the album, and the original version of the song which has what my little girl called a “conga line beat”.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving, and I’ll hopefully be back to this blog soon.

-Todd

 

Nov
05

I’m sure that many of you are like me and have a handy application on your computer screen that shows you what people are “tweeting” through Twitter and what they are posting on their Facebook pages, or other social media.  It can admittedly become a sort of background noise of people’s thoughts and actions.  Often I find myself oblivious to what is being said because I can’t focus on so many different fragments of information.   Other times I find myself pulled in by what people are saying.

For example, lately I’ve found it interesting to watch Senator John McCain’s tweets as he once again goes through a daily list of “top 10 earmarks” in current budget legislation.  Wow, it is simply eye-popping to see how much money the US government throws in every possible direction for any little pet project the politicians can think of.   Though each project may seem noble in it’s own little way, it all adds up to million upon millions of dollars in unnecessary spending, using tax money that we don’t have.   But as much as people seem to hate the idea of reckless spending by the government, nobody in charge seems to want to end it.

At other times I’ll see people quote song lyrics, or popular sayings, etc.   One of my Facebook friends criticized all the lyric quoting this week, saying that you should only quote lyrics that you wrote yourself.   Well, if you think some song lyrics nicely express what you’re feeling, then go ahead, quote them.  I won’t mind.  I might not make the connection to your own life, but I don’t mind.    Today I saw this particular quote scroll across my screen:

“Belief is the death of intelligence. As soon as one believes a doctrine of any sort, or assumes certitude, one stops thinking about that aspect of existence.” Robert Anton Wilson

It made me think for a few seconds.  Hmm.  Interesting idea.  And then I thought, “Who is this Robert Wilson person anyway?”  I looked him up and it turns out he is the typical author / philosopher / mystic / dead guy.   I see that he is known for this basic goal in life (in his own words):

“My goal is to try to get people into a state of generalized agnosticism, not agnosticism about God alone but agnosticism about everything.”

Let me try to translate that quote by dumbing it down to my own very basic, non-philosophical level.  After all, when it comes to philosophy, I rank right up there with somebody like…oh…Beaker from the Muppet Show:

Beaker_muppet

Basically, Robert Anton Wilson was saying, “My goal is to see that nobody knows anything.”

I told you, I’m not a very smart person.  But I do, however, believe that it is possible to actually know things.  I, for one, believe there is such a thing as “truth” and that it can ultimately be found, from the smallest, most trite bit of information, to doctrine on grand scales.   Once you find the truth, either by study or by accident, then why live with a belief that you’d be more intelligent by throwing it out the window so you can consider other possibilities?

[Beaker] “Wow, I just ate a piece of this chocolate cake and I love it!”

[Robert] “What?  But how do you know?”

[Beaker] “Because I put it in my mouth, and I liked it…”

[Robert] “Wait!  You have simply convinced yourself that you love it, but by so doing, you’ve ignored the possibility that you may hate it.”

[Beaker] “Really?  I hadn’t considered that.” [picks up remaining cake and throws it out the window]

[Robert] “Why did you do that?”

[Beaker] “You said I might possibly hate the cake.”

[Robert]  “But I wanted a piece!  You know…so I could consider the possibilities of liking or not liking it.  It could take several pieces for me to consider the ways I might feel about that cake!  Now I don’t have the chance to even taste it!”

[Beaker]  “Well, you’re no better or worse off anyway, since you already don’t know if you like it or not.”

[Robert]  “Ah, very true, Beaker.  I’m glad you pointed that out.  I don’t know as much now as I didn’t know then, and that’s refreshing.”

[Beaker] “Glad to be of service.”

No offense to fans of Robert Wilson, or to fans of Beaker, but I think the quote that flashed across my screen today is both philosophically impressive, and completely insane.    It’s funny when the two go hand-in-hand.  It’s fun to be a great thinker, I suppose, and even more fun to call oneself a “mystic” because it is…oh…so mystical.   But here is my rebuttal quote, from a non-mystic, mainstream idiot:

“One who is wise not only seeks intelligence, but lives in a constant pursuit of truth, willingly putting aside personal prejudice, pride, and preference when discovery delivers a taste of divine truth.  To wander endlessly through the ever varying philosophies and foibles of man without desiring to learn and recognize truth is not wisdom, but merely an entertaining journey where one lives and dies not having known anything at all.”

OK, I used too many words for it to be a good quote.  Phooey!  That won’t even fit in a twitter post!  Maybe I could have said it better if I’d written it as song lyrics?

-Todd

Oct
28

It has been a while since I’ve written in my blog.  I’ve tried to think of something to say, but nothing has inspired me.  That isn’t to say that my mind is completely silent– I still think about things a lot, but that doesn’t mean that anybody else is necessarily interested in those thoughts.   My inability to write anything hasn’t only applied to my blog, but to the writing of the two novels that I have in the works.  I haven’t been able to motivate myself to write for about a month now.

I looked up the term “Writer’s Block” online and of course was pointed to Wikipedia where it says:

“Writer’s block is a condition, associated with writing as a profession, in which an author loses the ability to produce new work. The condition varies widely in intensity. It can be trivial, a temporary difficulty in dealing with the task in hand. At the other extreme, some “blocked” writers have been unable to work for years on end, and some have even abandoned their careers.”

Writing is not my profession.  I wouldn’t mind if writing eventually made enough money for me to buy a few groceries now and then, but at the moment, my writing is for my own personal fulfillment.   Even publishing my book was a way to emphatically declare, “I did it!  I finished a novel!”  I spent more on the publishing of “Trigger” than I’ve made…in fact, I don’t think it will ever break even.   But I do want to press forward in my efforts and hopefully improve my skills.

The book I’ve been working on most recently is called “Gracie Twofeet” and it fits into the growing arena of “youth fantasy” along the lines of Harry Potter.  The protagonists are children (well, most of the time) and the antagonist is an unseen witch.   Though there are similarities in my book with other stories out there, including Harry Potter, it is my own story and I have had fun telling it.   That is, up until a few weeks ago when I finished writing a sort of high point in the book, and I haven’t been able to sit back down and write any more since then.   I have a goal to at least begin the next chapter this weekend.

I have worked a little on music during the last few weeks, though not at a pace I was keeping earlier this year.   Since I now devote some of my time to teaching children how to write and record their own songs, I don’t have as much time to work on my own songs.  When I do get to my own songs, I become even more impatient than usual and don’t want to spend time on the details.  Thankfully, most of my next album was already near completion before hitting this lull, so I should have “Restricted” ready for release in early 2010.   I just finished a song this week called “Where You’re Going” which fits into the album concept  nicely, and my friend Marcus of Rename is making a remix of that song as well.  I’ve also sat down at a real piano every couple of days to practice some songs I’m writing for a future album which will be much more mellow and piano-oriented, in a Philip Glass sort of way.

What else have I been doing with my time?   It seems that time flies a lot these days because I am doing so many different things.  I wake up early at 6 AM.   On some days I go to play basketball with some friends at 6:30 so I can get at least a little exercise.   Other days I wander downstairs to my computer and begin answering emails and researching online before breakfast.   As the day progresses and jump between processing and packaging CD orders, updating the catalog, and checking the stock market.  Though I still don’t have any real money for investing, I enjoy learning how the market works and use small amounts to test different strategies.   It’s strange that I enjoy buying and selling stock since I never once even considered it in my life until just over a year ago when the market crashed.   The stock market was always a mystery to me and something that other people worried about.  I was more concerned about selling music…not stocks.

Here is an interesting piece of news– I was invited by a club promoter in Mexico to come to Mexico City as a guest DJ for a party.   He wanted to know how much it would cost for me to make the trip.  I looked, and it was rather expensive (around $700 just for the airline ticket).  Plus, I don’t exactly have a passport and visa ready to jump on a plane to Mexico for a party in November.   I turned down the offer, but it is the first time I remember somebody offering to pay me to take a trip to be a guest DJ.    You know, I used to DJ in a club years ago.  Back then, I played Latino pop / rock / dance music most of the time, and had little stints of playing 80’s and modern synthpop.   I enjoyed working in the club until it became tiring and I lost my interest in playing what the crowd wanted, over and over again.   The last club I worked at back in the early and mid 90’s paid me $50 per night.  You know it was no longer “fun” when I decided to turn down $50 just to play dance music.  I’d probably do it now for that little bit of money, but back then, it just go soooo old.

Speaking of being a DJ, I was asked to be the DJ for a Halloween dance at  my son’s small high school, InTech Collegiate High.   It is a charter school that focuses on science, engineering, and math, so it is principally made up of laptop-savvy, geeky kids (also very cool kids…I’m joking about the “geek” factor).   The school focus effects the demographic of students, meaning that there are probably two boys for every girl, which also means that dances are usually informal so that everybody can show up regardless of whether or not they have a “date”.   Usually they have a teacher there with a laptop and he just plays whatever music the kids give him on their ipods.   That means that the music is often not very danceable– they all stand around and sway to stuff like Coldplay (nice music, but not dance music).   Then when the teacher decides to get everybody moving, he defaults to what he has, which is corny stuff like Crazy Frog or “The Hamster Dance” (good stuff if you’re about 8-years-old).    So, my son convinced the teacher in charge of the Halloween dance that it would be more fun if his dad could bring a laptop loaded with cool dance music and 80’s hits.   It will be funny to see how the kids react to a bunch of music they’ve never heard of before.   Of course, I’ll throw in a couple of their usual rock stuff, just to give them a touch of familiarity.   But hey, this is a dance!  People will be in costume and will be there for a party, so I think the music I’m going to play will add to the mood nicely.

Here is something else I do with my time now.  I have taken upon myself more of the household responsibilities like laundry and dinner preparation.   Wow, it’s more work than I thought!  I never completely neglected those particular chores before, but now it is mostly MY job, so I do it all the time.  Yikes!  I’m still trying to figure out which socks belong to which feet!

OK, that’s enough rambling for now.  I suppose I really shouldn’t be writing anything at all during a writer’s block.  Otherwise you end up with a blog like this– full of nothing.

-Todd

 

Oct
16

Though I digitally released Saudade’s collection, “The Guts to Be Good” a couple of months ago, I never felt like it was properly released.  As I’ve explained before, I feel like a legitimate musical production should be released in physical format.   By “legitimate”, I mean in the eyes of the person who created the work, even if not commercially viable.   After all, anybody can pay a few dollars and have their songs released on iTunes and other major digital stores.   These days, fewer dedicated artists bother to pull together the money to put out their music on a factory replicated CD with proper packaging, but when they do, it says loud and clear, “I think it’s worth putting this in your collection.”  Or at least it says, “I believe in my music enough to have hundreds of copies sitting in my closet for years to come!”

So, I’m happy to say that on Monday I’ll receive my shipment of Saudade “The Guts to Be Good” CD’s.  I kept it very simple, with a very cool sleeve design by Stijn Coppens.   It is a cardboard sleeve (no jewel case) with no extended booklet.  This way, it looks good, but I can keep the price very low (retail $6).

CD Cover Image by Stijn Coppers

CD Cover Image by Stijn Coppens

“The Guts to Be Good” represents songs that were written in 2008 and 2009, as apposed to the previously released singles, “Bad Dreams” and “Like You” which consist of remakes of songs I wrote when I was a teenager in the 80’s.   These newer songs seem to follow a general theme, but in different ways.  I like concept albums, but don’t like everything on the album to be too similar or too obvious.   This album takes different looks at the attempt to be a good person, both in a melancholy way, and in a light, fun-loving way. It begins by asking whether anybody has “the guts to be good” in a world where the right way is often not the easier path.  Then, with the song “Almost Perfect”, there is a description of those seemingly perfect days when everything seems to be going great, and you feel like “you’re there!”  Yet you know that there are still struggles ahead, and it may not be until some far future time when you can finally look back and see that the journey was worth taking.   “Missing” is more of a song about longing for something, or someone that is lost.  “Mocking” was written mostly as a pop song and the lyrics are more on the silly side of the spectrum, using wordplay and rhymes while lightheartedly exploring the feelings of being mocked or misunderstood.  Sure, there is a misfit in most of us.

“The End of This Disease” was written and recorded in a day, after I found that my brother had been hospitalized for Crohn’s disease.  While he was recovering from surgery he made a social network for people dealing with Crohns.  I wrote the song as a sort of theme song for him.  We are often asked to deal with disease and suffering in life, regardless of how “good” we try to be– again, that’s part of the journey.

There are two little tracks on the CD that are mostly instrumental.  I made them as little experiments while playing with ideas.  One of them, “Something in the Sky” drives some people crazy (like my wife) because there is a synth pattern that plays five pulses per “beat”, and five pulses per beat just sounds “off” because it isn’t the usual, easy-to-hear 4, and it’s not even a triplet.   Hey! I like breaking the rules.  The pattern is right on the “beat” but just doesn’t sound natural, which I think makes it cool.

“Thoughtless” was a short song where I wanted to snap at people who question the faith or belief’s of others, treating them as if they are unintelligent or even complete idiots for believing in things they can’t see.  I don’t mind if people believe differently than I, or if they don’t embrace any kind of faith at all, but I don’t appreciate when I’m called a fool for my own view.  Insults never promote understanding.   I didn’t want to follow a typical song structure with several verses and chorus repeats.   I thought it best to just blurt it out, then leave it.   After all, when your faith is being attacked, you usually just want to walk away.  There is no convincing somebody who can’t see things through similar eyes of faith.   Knowledge of things unseen can only be won by those who try and test their own faith.

“Kansas Again” was written while I was on a long road trip with my son.  We were driving from Smithfield, Utah to Dallas, Texas, and back again.   The lyrics were jokingly adapted to the places we were driving through (Wyoming and Kansas) and are meant to talk about how it feels to be stuck where you are, unable to leave when your life seems like you’re stuck in Kansas again.  Now, I know Kansas has its own charm, but for a guy who has lived most of his life around beautiful mountains and scenic landscapes, that particular state seems pretty dull.  It is so flat, and it’s just farm fields as far as you can see on every side.  Anyway, the song is not very profound.  The challenge was that I had to make the song about 12 minutes long because we shot a photo through the windshield every 10 seconds during the entire trip.  Then we played back the photos at many frames per second to show a time-lapse of the entire round-trip.  My song would be a soundtrack for the video.    Since I’m a fan of old extended versions anyway, I thought it was a fun project.   The finished video has the rough mix of the song (not the final one on the album).

There are a couple of remixes on the collection from friends of mine.  One is a remix of “Mocking” by my great friend, Marcus Fellechner, who I work with for the band Rename.   He has a great feel for pop music and make the song much better than the original, as he usually does.   There is also a remix of the song “Her Way” which was from my 2nd Saudade single.   Steve Mork from Somegirl has a great way with melancholy, moody songs (the first Somegirl album was ideal for that) and he made a great remix of that overly dramatic song from my youth.  I wanted to release it on a CD, so I put it here.

The album ends with a somewhat heartbroken look at a life spent in an endeavor that collapses due to changes in the world, while suggesting that even at the end of the dream, some things can’t be taken away.  I admit, I was feeling very emotional and disappointed at the time I wrote this song.  I just wanted to get my feelings off my chest, so to speak.  During the spring of 2009, the long, downward path of my music business, A Different Drum, seemed to worsen.   I was particularly upset that I’d made contracts for some great new artists, then had to tell them over and over again that I didn’t have the money to release their albums as planned.  Without sales, there couldn’t be new releases or my debt burden would become insurmountable.    There were already a lot of debts and my own income was down to pretty much nothing, just so I could pay the bills.  I felt unemployed, even though I was working all the time.  I’d tried other things, but nothing had worked out.  I eventually took a summer job selling corn for a neighbor because I couldn’t see things getting better during the traditionally slower summer months.  It seemed everything was crumbling.   It still is, to some degree, but I wanted to write a personal song about the way it felt to wake up from the dream I’d been living for so long.   I intentionally sung the song in a more whiny style, thinking it sounded more like I was cracking.  It had worked nicely for Robert Smith (The Cure)  so many years before.   Though I don’t expect many people to connect with this song, it became my favorite and I felt like it was a sort of anthem for me at the time.    Oh, I had also contact a singer named Sheri Shaw about contributing her great voice on the chorus because she has a certain vocal timbre that I felt fit the mood perfectly.   I ended up liking her voice so much that I not only used it in “Somnium Finis” at the end of the album, but I created a little intro for the album using her chorus vocals and called it “The Dream”.   So, she kind of ties the album together from beginning to end.

One of the fun parts of working on my Saudade project is that I decided to accompany as many of the songs as possible with no-budget, home-made music videos.   My son, Dylan, became a big part of that endeavor.  Last year he became very interested in photography and in video recording.   He only had a little $60 hand-held video camera (very cheap and low quality) but we decided to work with it and make some silly videos.   I tried to think of ideas that only loosely tied into the lyrics of the song.  Thus the videos could cause for a different interpretation, or could simply be a background visual.   Lately, I’ve felt like Dylan and I have put together some pretty cool no-budget videos and are improving every time.   He has since purchased a new camera– it’s still cheap at under $300, but provides much clearer shots, and we just picked up some inexpensive editing software (for most of the videos to this point we’ve used free software for editing).  Keep in mind, these videos are always shot and edited in a day…usually in three hours or less.

There are videos for songs from the first two Saudade singles, and there are also videos for songs from the future Saudade release “Restricted”, but here are the videos that are tied to songs from “The Guts to Be Good”.   These include more interesting productions, the time-lapse road trip, a couple of videos that were added to the instrumental tracks just for kicks, and even a video that Dylan shot entirely with his friend while goofing off one day…it fit nicely with “Mocking”.

ALMOST PERFECT  (we went to the park with the kids and friends on a nice day and shot a video while there)

MISSING (I loved this concept and still think it’s cool, even though our file format was messed up in editing)

MOCKING (Dylan and his friend Jacob mess around on a dull afternoon, but it suits the “misfit” theme of the song)

SOMETHING IN THE SKY (music and video were worked together as an experiment, for kicks)

THOUGHTLESS (video is pretty silly and doesn’t fit the lyrical theme, but we didn’t care)

KANSAS AGAIN (I can’t embed a Youtube video here, since it is over the Youtube limit of 10 minutes.  So, here is a link to Facebook)

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/video/video.php?v=121842175639

A MINUTE AND A HALF OF SPRING (The kids were setting up the trampoline in early spring and filmed it.  I added the video to my music.)

SOMNIUM FINIS (Another favorite.  Dylan was suffering horribly from allergies at the time we shot this…sneezing every few seconds.)

Well, there is some unsolicited insight into my Saudade album, “The Guts to Be Good”.   I am nearing completion of the next collection of songs called “Restricted”.  There are already a couple of Youtube videos for songs from that concept album, but I won’t go into that during today’s blog.

If you’d like to order “The Guts to Be Good” then you can jump to A Different Drum and go for it:

http://www.adifferentdrum.com/buy/ADDCD1302/Saudade-The-Guts-to-Be-Good

You can also order it here from my own website:

http://www.todd-durrant.com/toddsshop.html

The CD will be available in about a week from Amazon.com as well.

Oh, and Dylan is helping to build a website for Saudade.  You can check it out here:

http://www.saudadesongs.com

-Todd

Oct
08

It has been a while since I posted a new blog, but it is not entirely my fault.  I did write a new blog a few days ago.   I wrote a fun discussion of how to live cheap, sharing some of my personal insights from my own family’s ventures into penny pinching.   But once it was written, I clicked “publish” on WordPress, and it suddenly asked me to login.  Crap!  I knew I was in trouble then.  Once I logged in, my post was gone.  All that was left was my two paragraph intro which had auto-saved.   I guess I should be more careful and save a draft every couple of minutes.  But alas, I had already logged into the dashboard, had written my post, and have never been asked to login just to publish my blog before.  Grrr.

Anyway, I didn’t have the heart to start typing it again. Instead, I picked up the softest thing I could find on my desk (a roll of toilet paper for those runny nose moments, or for when there are spiders in the room) and chucked it at the wall.   I felt better in a minute or two, but I still haven’t been in the mood to write it again.

So, today you are stuck with another memory.  I need to write down a couple of things about the first show I ever promoted back in the mid 90’s because I’m already forgetting a lot of things from that part of my life.  I might as well write what I do remember.  I partnered up with a good friend of mine named Gary who had his own music shop called New Wave Records.  We were both very much into the 80’s and any remnant of the new wave scene that was struggling to stay alive in the 90’s.  We both ran small record shops and wanted to bring a couple of concerts back into Utah.   We were both in Provo at the time and thought it would be nice to hold our shows there instead of in Salt Lake City where most shows happened.

Since I had been selling Anything Box’s self-released CD’s in my store, I already had contact with the man in charge of what they called Orangewerks Records.   Actually, that’s kind of a funny part of the story too.  I would call from my store every couple of weeks to order more CD’s and would talk to a man who I will just call Bob, since the name he used is not too important.  Anyway, Bob was very helpful in resupplying me with CD’s and was also helpful in putting me in touch with the band’s booking agent so we could arrange the details of an Anything Box show in Provo.   The booking agent gave us the dollar amounts required, told us to buy four airline tickets (three for the band, and one for a manager) and faxed a list of the equipment that we’d need to have at the venue, etc.   I was new at this whole business, but it seemed pretty straight forward.   We paid the advance so we could announce the show and begin advertising, and then I purchased the airline tickets.  Thinking myself rather clever, I booked the tickets for the three band members:  Claude, Dania, and Gary.   Then, since I was supposed to book a forth for the manager, I also bought one for Bob.   It was during a later phone call to Bob that he stuttered, stammered, and said, “oops, I’m not going to be coming…well…most likely…um…anyway, just give me the airline information and I’ll change the ticket.”  Needless to say, there was not really a Bob.  That was just a business name for handling phone calls  so people wouldn’t hound the phone lines thinking they were talking to the band.   Oops.

Promoting the show was tough.  Anything Box was a good one-hit-wonder in Utah, and it was frustrating that no matter how much you tried to convince the alternative radio stations that they had new stuff that was worth playing, the stations wouldn’t touch it.  Still, we had to get the word out to the people who had heard “Living In Oblivion” or nobody would show up at the concert.  So, we coughed up a couple thousand dollars for advertising on the radio.  I would listen to the radio during the scheduled times to make sure they played the ads.  One time the DJ played the ad spot announcing the show, and then followed up by saying sarcastically, “Wow, that should be a fun show, with one song.”

I called Gary who said that he had heard the ad too, and we called the radio station to say, “We’re not paying for that ad.  You can’t jokingly criticize the people that pay you money for advertising.”  The ad rep apologized and said they’d run a couple extra ads for us.  Oh, and then there was our other advertising approach– to spread fliers all over the apartment complexes where the tens of thousands of college students lived.  That took hours and hours of walking around, and in the end I think we got 1 or 2 people who showed up because of that.   Though the turn out was nearly good enough to break even on expenses (breaking even is a great thing in the small concert business), most of them came because of the radio ads.

Here is another little memory from that show.  On the list of equipment needed for the show, there was a very specific, high-end keyboard that I couldn’t rent anywhere near Provo.   I finally found a music rental shop in Salt Lake City that had this specific keyboard available for rental, so I drove there, payed hundreds of dollars to use it for the weekend, and took it back to our club venue.   Later, as the band was setting up, I proudly told Claude how hard it had been to get that keyboard, but here it was for their performance!  He smiled and simply told me that I didn’t need to go all the way to Salt Lake City to pick up that particular keyboard.  I could have brought anything legit.  What?  It had been on the equipment list.  Claude explained that the model on the list was just an example of a “professional keyboard” to make sure we had something nice instead of a Casio from K-mart or something.   Shoot.  I owned a very cool Roland synthesizer from the 80’s that I happily would have brought to the show and it wouldn’t have cost me a dime.  I didn’t know it was just going to be a prop.

Now, here is another interesting part of that whole experience.   When we went to the airport to pick up the band, I was a nervous wreck.  I had never really walked and talked personally with a band that had a relatively large following.   I’d mingled with new artists that were just trying to get going, but not with anybody who’d been on the radio– especially a band who’s music I really loved.   For some strange reason, when you have created a sort of idol in your mind, and you’re waiting to see them in person, you get very nervous.  But it’s not just the nerves– you also forget that they are normal people.  In your mind they are so large that you almost expect them to be seven feet tall when they walk off the airplane.   So there I was waiting for the band, with images in my mind of superhero synthpoppers with spiky hair and leather jackets, certainly towering over everybody else.  They pretty much walked right past me, then stood around looking lost, since they would need us for a ride.  My friend, Gary, thankfully recognized them within seconds, but I felt kind of stupid.  We shook hands and made introductions, meeting these perfectly normal, and perfectly short synthpop heroes for the first time.

If you have looked at the band photos of Anything Box from those early days when they release their big “Peace” album, you instantly remember Dania, the girl in the band with the long hair that defies gravity.  It was so darn new wave!  But here she was, looking like an attractive, but rather mellow long-haired woman.  Her hair just hung down like everybody else.    During dinner with the band, my friend finally said to Dania, “I just have to warn you that a lot of the fans tonight are going to be really disappointed if your hair isn’t standing straight up.  That’s just what they’ll be expecting.”   Dania was such a great sport that she went back to the hotel and actually fixed her hair.  She had enough goop in it to make is as hard as wood and she looked like the old photos when she came out on stage.  The crowd did love it!   And I’ll say it right now, with the Anything Box shows that I’ve seen, I think that Dania was always the bright spot.  She knew how to work the crowd!  She was like the band’s official cheerleader and even when things got a bit dicey (like when the power to the sound system cut out in the middle of a song), she could shout things to the audience and work them into a frenzy of excited cheers.

Yeah, we almost broke even financially.  I think in the end we lost two or three hundred dollars.  But Gary and I both felt like it was a few hundred dollars well spent on the experience of a lifetime.   The band was very kind and felt very welcomed by a good audience.   From then on, whenever I’d call for more CD’s, “Bob” was a bit more casual and friendly, because after all, we’d had dinner together.  We’d had a fun night and now shared some memories.

-Todd

Sep
22

Until now I have purposely avoided writing a blog about anything that is extremely sensitive and potentially inflammatory, which would obviously include subjects such as religion and politics.  After all, those are the two topics people always say to avoid if you want to sidestep any conflict among your friends, family, acquaintances, coworkers, etc.  I think that general rule is a bit of a bummer because it suggests that people don’t talk about the things that are possibly the most important to them.  But yes, I have seen many places where a person’s simple statements of personal belief with regards to religion or politics have fueled angry and insensitive debates or even rampant flaming.

I suppose I’m simply ready to take the heat or something because I’m going to throw caution to the wind and talk about both of those things in an interesting way (I hope).   So, first of all I offer my disclaimer:  This blog is based on my own random thoughts!  It represents what I think.  My thoughts are not necessarily gospel and doesn’t represent the collective views of any group of people, my friends, or my family, etc.  It’s just me talking, and I don’t expect people to agree.   But hey, you are here, reading a blog called “Todd Durrant’s Random Thoughts” so that’s what you’re going to get.  I suppose you’re reading because you care what I think, for better or for worse.   Hopefully you’ll enjoy it.

A few weeks ago I read an interesting blog article about conservatism and what is often called in the USA, “the Christian right wing”.  You see, in the USA, if you talk about Christianity or those people who tend to go to church on Sundays and hold a faith in God and particularly in Christ as their savior, then it is assumed that those people are politically conservative and most likely republican.  Of course, there are a good number of actively religious, openly Christian members of the democratic party.  Take the democratic senator from Nevada, Harry Reid as an example.  He is generally viewed as quite liberal, but is a Christian of the LDS faith– in fact, during a recent speech at BYU when asked how he could be a Mormon and a liberal democrat, he basically responded that he is a democrat because he is a Mormon.  That suggests against common opinion that any true LDS believer in Christ would naturally lean to the democratic party rather than the republican party.

Anyway, the article I mentioned was basically saying that it doesn’t make sense that Christians would be conservative when the very things they claim to believe seem more obviously part of the liberal agenda, or at least closer to positions espoused by the democratic party.  There were several scriptural passages quoted which show of Christ’s core teachings of loving one another, watching out for one another, giving liberally to the poor, and caring more about the welfare of others than for ourselves.   Well, yes, that is exactly what Christianity is meant to be.   It is a belief that in order to find yourself, you must first lose yourself in Christ and in the service of others.  It is a belief that the two great laws upon which all commandments are based are 1) love God, and 2) love your neighbor (which basically means, love everybody else).   Yeah, I’m sorry Whitney Houston fans — “learning to love yourself” is not “the greatest love of all.”  In fact, an overly intense focus on yourself leads more often to destructive self indulgence, self pity, and a tendency to hurt those around you.

The greatest Christian love is to love God (and thus desire to do God’s will over your own will) and to love God’s children.   And that is where this particular blogger was making his point– the republican party and “conservative right” tends to shout rather loudly against any government program or proposal which hints at a “redistribution of wealth” (to take from the rich and give to the poor), or which suggests that people should give up certain hard-earned extras for the good of the nation’s citizens as a whole.  Typically, the conservative side says that people should work hard and struggle through school, a career, etc. to get where they are and to prosper accordingly, and that people who have made the struggle in a capitalist society to become rich have earned and deserve their riches.  The rich shouldn’t be more heavily taxed or apparently “punished” simply because they succeeded.   Conservatives do not like the idea that everybody should have to pitch in a large portion of their paycheck so that the “poor” can get government welfare, free health care, and have every need handed to them on a platter.  The basic conservative sentiment is, “Yes, you may be poor, or I may be poor, but we can rise above through our own efforts and it is not anybody’s responsibility to give us a free ride.”

If capitalism or aspiring for financial independence and success appears to be selfish and anti-Christian, then how is it that Christians are generally conservative?  The answer in some ways can be over simplified, as it so often is in places like talk radio.  For example, it is said that Christians are believers in freedom (or in religious terms, “agency”).  They believe that any social role the government takes over, even for the so-called benefit of the citizens, is an attack on the freedom of the people.   To take over or dictate the means of education is to take away a freedom.  To take over health care is to take over a freedom, just like it would seem that taking over any private enterprise (automobile industry, banking, farming, etc.) is to take away a freedom.  To impose gun control is to take away a freedom.  So, conservatives believe that taking away people’s hard earned money for pretty much any government program other than self defense is to take away a freedom.  They believe that the government’s role is to watch over the safety and security of the people, and of course to maintain a rule of law that keeps people from hurting and taking advantage of one another.   But they don’t believe it is the government’s job to impose and run new programs that delve into otherwise personal parts of people’s lives, even if the claim is for the “good of the people”.   History shows how horribly oppressive governments came to power because the people of the land trusted their government to make sure everybody was equally cared for.  If you send a message to government that you’d rather not handle your own problems and you’d prefer that they do it for you, then they too often will, and the result is usually not pretty.   Here’s a nice quote for you:   “We have learned by sad experience that it is the nature and disposition of almost all men, as soon as they get a little authority, as they suppose, they will immediately begin to exercise unrighteous dominion.”  (Doctrine and Covenants)

But wait, I’m not giving a definitive answer– I said I was over simplifying.  Sure, conservatives love freedom.  But have you ever heard a liberal or a democrat say that they don’t love freedom?  Of course they love freedom!  Maybe they see freedom in a different way?  Maybe they look at those in our society who seem to have a disadvantage from the get-go and they have a truly “Christian” desire to see those people helped.  They see the sick, the lame, the afflicted, the poor, the hungry, and they think, “we need to do something to help these people, because they are not free to pursue a life of comfort and happiness.”   So, they stand up for programs which would take steps to insure that those who are at a disadvantage can have the same opportunities as everybody else.  The poor shouldn’t miss out on education simply because their family has never had the kind of money to afford it, right?  The chronically ill shouldn’t have to live in poverty because the free market health care system is beyond their reach, right?  These are loving thoughts of concern for our neighbors!  They are not wishes of communism or total government control.  They are not attacks against freedom, but could instead be seen as dreams of freedom for all men and women who have otherwise lived under the yolk of disadvantage and hardship.

So, it is not a fair argument to say that liberals do not love freedom.   But it is also not fair to argue that conservatives are merely proponents of capitalism, greed, and growing class distinction.   Both are judgmental and short-sighted views, but we seem to live in a political environment these days which tries to polarize the two sides and display them in harsh opposition.  It’s the same approach used to claim that science and religion are “at war” and that you can’t be a good scientist and believe in God, or that you can’t be a person of faith and be a student of science.  Hogwash!   People of faith and people of science (and there are many who belong in both groups) are after the same thing– truth.   If religion seems to conflict with science, or science seems to conflict with religion, then you either have bad religion, or bad science.  Or at least you have incomplete religion or incomplete science.   Likewise, it is untrue to say that conservatives are right and liberals are wrong, or vice versa.   They just see things differently, and to polarize the two is to misunderstand all sides of the argument, or to avoid looking at the big picture.   If they seem in horrible opposition, then it’s usually bad conservatism or bad liberalism (or perhaps deserving of the term, “extremist”).

Now, before I continue, let me say that I personally am a person of faith.  I believe to the very core in a loving God and that we are all children of God, brothers and sisters who need to love one another and look out for one another.  I am a Christian, and I do tend to be politically conservative.   I do believe in a free market (less government control), but I also believe in watching out for one another and believe it is our moral responsibility to do as Christ taught and care for the poor and the afflicted, and give up our own self interests for the greater good.  See…I’m not a guy that believes I have a right to as much money as I can get.  Some people have money, and some don’t.  Some people succeed in business, and some don’t (I know that very well).   What I really want to say is this– I feel that there is not really such a strong divide between what conservatives want and what liberals want.  The only real divide is how the sides propose to reach those goals, and even more important, in whom they trust to do it.

You see, for pretty much any law you can think of, there is a higher law.  Christ taught that principle during his famed sermon on the mount.   There is a law (or religious commandment) that says you shouldn’t kill your neighbor, but Christ explains that you shouldn’t even think ill of your neighbor or call him a fool.  There is a law or commandment that says you shouldn’t commit adultery, but Christ explains that you shouldn’t even lust after another woman because that which you seek in your heart defines who you really are.   Basically, if you name a law, there is a higher law of better code of conduct that would override the need for the lower one.   Laws against every variety of fraud wouldn’t be necessary if people lived a higher law of honesty.   Basically, laws of the land protect us from those who break higher laws, the highest being to love God and your neighbor.  If you love your neighbor, then you won’t commit fraud, petty theft, or cheat on your spouse.   Now, don’t you wish you could just rewrite the volumes and volumes of laws of the land and wrap it all into the basics?   But we live in a land of imperfect people (which includes myself) so we too often need it all spelled out for us.   This is the point I’m getting at– if you understand the higher laws, then you start to understand the differences of opinion between the so-called conservatives and the liberals.

There is a financial law of the land that says you must pay taxes so that the government has money with which to implement their programs.   There is a religious financial law as well that says you pay a tithe of your income to help pay for the growth of the Lord’s kingdom on earth (basically, you need money to buy land and materials with which to build churches, etc.).   But I believe there is a much higher financial law.   Basically, the higher law (called “the law of consecration”) is where you give everything to the Lord (or in other words, to everybody).   Wait!  That’s communism!  Actually, it isn’t.  There is a huge difference between communism and consecration.  In communism, you are compelled to give up everything, and the “good of the whole” is dictated by a governmental body which is most likely not based in a love of God and a love of their neighbor.  In fact, we’ve seen where such a governmental structure put God in exile entirely.   In the higher law of consecration, you would give up everything for the love of God and your neighbor and you would trust God to reveal how the wealth is distributed based on real needs, every person giving their all and receiving everything they need.   Also, every participant in such a system would not only be a willing participant, but would work hard to contribute, not for their own gain and own greed, but because they want everybody to have the best.   This system would be 100% based on freedom, where other attempts at socialism or communism operate in an absence of freedom.

Well, we don’t live that higher law.  People aren’t ready for it, and I think very few would choose of their own free will to do it, because they lack the faith that God could or would run such a system (if they believe in God at all).  So, they go for the next best thing in their minds– they want the government to run the system.  They look to the government as the body that could possibly become the great equalizer.   That is where I personally see the main difference between conservatism and liberalism in the USA.  Somebody like Harry Reid says he is liberal because he is religious, and he means it– he wants everybody to have a shot, and rightfully so.  But I would be quite fearful of a belief that says our country’s governmental system has the righteousness and goodwill (or intelligence and all-knowing vision) to pull it off correctly.   That is why so many Christians are conservative– not because they want something ultimately so different in terms of care for the disadvantaged, but because they believe it is not the government’s role to take over what they see is the job of an all-knowing God and His children.  They don’t believe that God-given agency should be removed in the care for the poor, but instead that man should use his own agency to choose to help one another.   But what if you don’t believe that God exists or that such a being is interested in running the political system?  Well, then you look to the government as the higher authority.   So, you may see a liberal side of the spectrum that wants very good things and turns to the government to provide it, possibly because they don’t think it is realistic to believe that anybody else will, or that mankind is capable of rising to a high enough level to do the right thing of their own accord.

So, is true Christianity conservative or liberal?  I don’t know that it is right to claim one or the other.  I simply say that I understand why so many Christians are conservative.  It’s a matter of where they put their trust.   But I also understand why a liberal view is based on righteous desires of goodwill, and thus fits a true Christian view of the world.  Again, where do they put their trust to achieve that better world?

You can look at many “hot topics” in the political realm to not only see the differences between the two sides, but to see how both sides may have more similarities than you think.  Take abortion as a “hot topic” example.  Everybody knows that conservatives (generally republicans) are “pro-life” and that liberals (generally democrats) are “pro-choice”.   Well heck, who isn’t pro-life, and who isn’t pro-choice?  Didn’t I say above that Christians believe in the God-given gift of agency, which in itself means “pro-choice”?  I believe in choice!  And can you honestly suggest that liberals are “anti-life”?  Of course not!  They love life!  Whenever somebody asks me if I am “pro-life” or “pro-choice”, I say that I am both.  But how can that be?  Well, remember, I’m religious, and I believe there are certain laws by which we should live.  I believe if you break a law or a commandment, there is always a consequence.  You can choose to live the law or not, but you cannot choose the consequence of your original choice.  You can choose to take a five-finger discount on a cool wrist watch at the store, but if you get caught, you can’t choose whether or not you want to do the jail time, because that is the consequence of your actions.   Apply that to the abortion argument now:  If you choose (yes, a choice) to engage in sexual activities which could result in an unwanted pregnancy, then you have already made your choice.   Yep, pr0-choice.  But when you find yourself or your partner pregnant, you are now dealing with the consequence of that choice which you freely made.  You can’t choose to avoid the consequences, even if you think it is within the reach of the medical world to get rid of the consequence for you.  Abortion isn’t about pro-choice, but is usually a question of anti-consequence.   Can I choose to smoke my entire life, then choose not to suffer the consequences of terrible health?  Well, what if a doctor could take the life of an unborn child to replace my lungs?  Would that make it OK to avoid the consequences by sacrificing the budding life of another?  I don’t think so.  See…both sides are “pro-choice” but you don’t see it unless you look at the bigger picture.

Both sides are also Christian, if you look at it in different ways.  But when you break things down to the higher laws, and when you understand the reason religious people think the way they do, then maybe you can understand why so many Christians are conservative.  And hopefully, more of those conservatives can understand that the other folks ultimately want the same thing, but have a different way of approaching the challenge.   I hope for a country where both sides can work together and understand one another, and most of all, have a true love and respect for one another despite the differences that become apparent.

At this point I’ll avoid a debate about whether Christianity or a belief in God is right or wrong.  Remember, we want to understand one another, and that can’t be done if you just throw out the core beliefs that define us.   In all fairness, I’ll be the first to say I’ve seen horrible Christians (based on their choices vs. their beliefs) and I’ve met atheists who are very good people (based on how they choose to treat others).   I remember reading another blog article saying that all people who believe in God are idiots.   Now that argument is far to intellectual for me to handle.  Whew…

-Todd

Sep
15

With as little income as I’ve had during the last year, you’d think it’s a horrible time to dabble in the stock market.   Well, that is probably true, but this is how it came about in my case.   In the autumn of 2008 I saw the US stock market plummet horribly.   Though that may seem like a signal to “bail out!” fast for people who have retirement accounts and investments, I was not a person in that situation.  I had no retirement account and had never purchased a stock in my life.  I’d invested everything in raising my family and trying to grow a business.   So, there I was, having lost nothing due to the crash, thinking that if there was ever a time to get into the market, this was it!

The stock prices were all basically “on sale” even with the solid companies.  I’d just had one of my own business ventures crash horribly and had lost tens of thousands of dollars that would take many years to pay off, but I had some old DVD inventory to dump.  It would take a while to sell the old DVD’s and I figured I would take whatever little money I could make from those and put it into stocks.   I opened an account with Sharebuilder and began buying stocks and ETF’s a few dollars at a time.  Sharebuilder was a great online service for my investment approach because they allow you to purchase partial shares, which comes in quiet handy if you want to buy into a company that has expensive shares.  For example, I can put $20 into Google stock instead of having to come up with $400 + just to buy a single share.   Plus, their fees are quite reasonable, based on what level of investing you want to do.   You can also set up an automatic investing schedule to put a little away every week or month.   OK, before I sound too much like an advertisement for Sharebuilder, I just want to say that I picked it because it was a fit for me, and not necessarily because it is the BEST way to invest online.  If anybody reading this decides to try them, do send me a note and I’ll figure out how to “refer” you so I get a trade credit.

I’m approaching the one-year mark for my investments in my Sharebuilder account.   On October 2nd, 2009 it will be exactly one year.  The market has gone up since then, so with very little effort or thought I have seen my stock values grow.   I know that diversification is very important with investments, but I probably diversified just a bit too much, spreading my little amounts through so many different stocks and exchange traded funds that I don’t have a large amount in any one basket.  It’s a safe approach, but of course I’ve looked at the ones that have performed very well and wish I’d had a few thousand dollars in those particular ones rather than $40 or $50, if you know what I mean.  A 25% growth on $10,000 takes you to $12,500 which is a nice increase.   But it just doesn’t seem as glorious when your $50 earned 25% to reach $62.50.

As of today, my account has increased 25.90% overall.   There were a couple stocks that I purchased which tanked as the companies went bankrupt.  There have been a couple that doubled (100% increase) so I sold them to pick up the profit before they adjusted back downward.  There are some big winners that I’m holding because I think they’ll be great long-term.  There are some that I’ve had a long time that have not increased much at all, but they are solid companies that are not going anywhere.   So there you go!  I have a retirement account now!   I don’t intend to cash out anything from this account until I really need to.  It is simply put aside for the future.   It wouldn’t last long if I were to cash it out now anyway.

I don’t have any more used DVD’s to sell and don’t have much to continue putting into my retirement account, so I ‘ll just watch and wait for a while, maybe shuffling things around a bit if it looks beneficial.   In the meantime, I do need to make a living, so on top of continuing my work with my music business, A Different Drum, I’m also teaching some pop music lessons.    But being the horribly addicted entrepreneur that I am, I had to find something else in which I could put my hopes (even if they are false hopes).   So, now that I’ve had a little experience with stocks, I decided I’d try out the much more risky side of investing– penny stocks!

Now any paid investment adviser would tell you to stay away from penny stocks.   Why invest in small companies, many of which are merely exploratory, still in research stages, and which may not even have any kind of stable revenue stream?   For the long term investor trying to build a retirement, staying away would be good advice.  Usually when you’re investing for retirement, you put your money into the pot and ignore it, hoping that it builds interest over the long term so that twenty years down the road you’ll be in great shape.  But if you ignore your penny stocks, you’ll miss the chances to cash in, and eventually you may very well lose a lot of what you invested.  Few of those penny stock companies break it into the big time.   If / when they do, you could have made the investment move of a lifetime.

So why would I want to dabble in this market?  Well, I’m considering it something of a part-time job, and I hope to make money.  That requires that I check the stocks daily, watch for every little move, and jump at the opportune moment.   Sharebuilder does not allow for buying penny stocks (OTC and Pink Sheets).   Thus, I found another online investment service that does allow trades in those markets.  I opened an account with Scottrade.   The fees are a bit higher, but I hope to make up for those higher trade fees with higher profits.

Here is why penny stocks are tempting.   When they move, they generally move in a higher percentage, simply because the stock prices are so low to begin with.   For instance, if you own 10,000 shares of a stock worth $.01 (one penny) and it goes up to $.02 per share, then your 10,000 shares just doubled in value!  Those kinds of moves are fairly regular with penny stocks, but then it can jump just as quickly down to $.005 as well.  That’s why you have to be sitting at the keyboard, checking frequently on your stocks.

I’ve noticed that the penny stock market moves up and down based on a lot of investor games.   There are a lot of people out there who work to hype a particular stock as if it is the “next big thing”.   Most likely, this person (or people) own many shares in that particular company and want to see it spike so they can sell their shares.   Suddenly the stock gets all kinds of buzz and you see a spike.  It can jump up 200% or more in a day or two.    Of course, the people who created the hype aren’t there for the long term, so they cash in fast.  By the time an amateur like me notices the stock, checks the graph and sees that it had a 200% spike, it’s too late.  You missed the boat because it’s going to drop fast once everybody cashes in.   Yeah, I learned that with a couple choices already.   You have to own that stock before the move or you’ll miss it.

I’ve also noticed that penny stocks move a lot based on news bulletins posted by the company itself.  This has been particularly true with the small pharmaceutical companies lately.   The moment they announce that they are hitting another stage of clinical trials on some new cancer drug, or diabetic drug, or swine flu vaccine, they spike.   Then the price declines (again, the sell-off) until the next piece of news presents itself.  Investors like to think something is happening with the company.

Another trick I’ve seen people play and have tried once is to watch for a suffering stock to hit rock bottom.  You wait and wait as it goes downward until it levels out.  I have 300 shares in one company that I purchased at $.10 each.  Three years ago it was at $300 per share.  Now, I have no delusion that it will ever get back to where it was three years ago, but even if it were to bounce back to $1 per share, I will have seen my $30 turn into $300 which is pretty snazzy (minus trade fees).   Yep, once again, if I’d had $3000 to invest instead of $30 it would be a much nicer pile of earnings for a part-time job.   But alas, when you have so little, you have to start small.

Well, that’s it!  You’ve now heard everything I know about the stock market.  Those of you who have made a living with this stuff for many years are probably laughing at my simplistic view of things.   Go ahead!  Laugh!  I hope that I’ll be laughing too, even if this meager attempt to make a few extra dollars falls flat, because I’m pretty used to my ventures not panning out as planned.  But hey, I’m hopelessly addicted to making a living on my own and I’ve had no luck getting a “standard” job anyway.   It makes me happy to think I’m trying something.

Now, here are a few of the penny stock plays I’m making at the moment.  Consider them to be valuable notes for silly investors:

GVBP — my biggest gainer so far.  Bought at .15 per share.  It is currently at .65.  Set to sell half my shares at .75 and hold a bit longer on the other half.  You hate to bail too soon, but you also hate to risk a sudden drop.

YASH –Bought this one at .10 per share when it appeared to “hit bottom”.  It turned up a bit, but then dropped close to the bottom again.  Currently at .16 per share.  Waiting to sell.

SMAS –This one is a silly game stock I bought just to test something.  I bought 200,000 shares at .0001 (cheapest possible stock).   It recently bounced up to .0002 only for an hour here and there.  I have it set to automatically SELL if it bounces again to .0002.   Doubling $20 to $40 in one cheapo stock.  Minus fees, I’ll make $6, but it is only a test to see how fast Scottrade can execute a sell order in case of a short-lived bump.

VSPC — Bought this one today and looks to be on a steady increase.  Watching it…

AEXP — Wanted to buy this one first thing this morning, but was out of money so I missed today’s growth.  It jumped 15% today.  Maybe it is still worth a try later this week, but I suspect it may drop before too long.  We shall see.

-Todd

Sep
09

I mentioned a couple of months ago that I was going to begin a “school of pop” where I would teach kids (ages 8 to 18) about songwriting and recording pop music.   As the summer vacation months concluded and kids fell back into a school schedule, I began teaching my first students.  So far, the experience has been quite rewarding on a personal level.

Student A is an 8-year-old (almost 9) girl with a lot of energy and excitement.  As soon as her mother told her she’d be taking lessons to write and record her own music, the girl was giddy with anticipation and already began writing her song ideas.   She has writing a couple of songs that we’ve looked over in our lessons and she is still working to get the structure concept figured out.  She thinks of what she wants to sing (melody and words) in her head, but doesn’t quite fit those into a standard verse / chorus structure.   Now, I’m a fan of breaking the rules of standard pop structure, but for the purpose of teaching “pop music” I encourage her to work within the familiar forms.  That way she can learn how to make a “hit” that fits right in with everything else she hears on the radio.  Once she has that mastered, then she can choose to pull away from the norm, and she can do it artistically and intentionally, if you know what I mean.

Her last song had some thoughtful lyrics, but what she called “verse 1″ had it’s own melody and rhyme scheme, while her “verse 2″ had the same melody and non-rhyme-scheme as her chorus, so it didn’t stand out as a new verse.   So, her song would basically be verse-chorus-chorus 2-chorus-bridge-chorus, at least to the listener. There wouldn’t seem to be much variation.

Anyway, I pointed out these things to her and she says she’ll work on it for the “next song” but she isn’t interested in changing what she has already done because in her head it is finished.   Well, I can understand that, since it’s the way I often feel about my own songs.  If I figure I’ve said what I want to say, then I may not be interested in making changes, though it might actually help if I did.  Some of us are stubborn.

Student B is a very intelligent 13-year-old boy.  He is very quiet, so at first I was wondering if he was really interested in what was going.  I wasn’t sure if he was motivated enough to actually DO anything with these lessons.  But I was wrong wrong wrong.  He picks up pretty much anything I show him on the keyboard instantly.   He needs to practice a bit to get things running fluidly, but if I show him chords and patterns, etc. he can play them right back.   And his first song that he brought to me was very well written.  It had an easily recognized rhyme-scheme and the verses were consistent with one-another while the chorus stood out on it’s own.   I think we added two words to the entire song for the sake of fitting the lyrics with the rhythm he wanted to use.   I’ve already taken him to the computer where he has laid out the drum sequences for his verses and chorus.   Basically, this is one of those shy, quiet, small kids at school that has a LOT going on inside his head.  He’s one of those kids that would be very popular if people got to know him.   He reminds me a bit of myself as an early teen, quietly minding my own business at school, then going home and writing songs nonstop about everything I was thinking.

I will begin with a pair of sisters (students C and D) tomorrow.  I’ve only talked to their mother so far, and she is very excited about them having a chance to take this kind of music lessons.   She signed up one of her daughters for voice lessons last year and had a bad experience with it because the teacher wanted to push her into a more “classical” approach, but that’s not what the girl wanted to do.  These two sisters already like to make up their own songs and sing duets.   So, I look forward to helping them develop their own voice and get those songs recorded and improve their skills.  Fun stuff!

I’m still looking for more students, hoping for a dozen by the beginning of 2010.   I think this is a great way to work with music and not stress out about SELLING music in a market where the general public is so slow to buy.  Music is still an important part of individual lives– maybe not buying as a consumer, but in creating as a participant and using it as a form of self-expression.  Maybe finding our own inner artist is ultimately more important.

-Todd

Sep
01

While glancing at the Friendbar ticker that constantly scrolls across my Firefox browser window, I noticed a comment that a friend made either on Twitter or Facebook (Friendbar conveniently shows both without me having to open a page on either site).   “I’m bored…”   I’ve seen those status reports before.

“I’m bored.”

You know, the last time I can faintly remember saying those words myself was many many years ago, possibly when I was in my early teens.  I know I said it quite a lot when I was even younger…

“Mommy, I’m bored.”

But I learned not to say it, just like my own children have quickly learned never to tell mom or dad that they are bored.  Why?  Well, that statement usually results in a response like, “Well, I can sure give you something to do.”  That means jobs.  The ultimate cure for boredom is work.

Maybe that is why I can’t remember the last time that I’ve actually been bored, at least in my adult years.   I can’t remember the last time I found myself sitting around, upset that I didn’t have anything to do.  In fact, I kind of wish I’d have one of those quiet occasions every once in a while, though I don’t think it would be a negative feeling of boredom– more like a euphoric state of relaxation.  “Woohoo!  I don’t have anything to do for the next couple of hours!”

Whether it is work, hobbies, family, interests, or even specific entertainment interests, I always have much more on my plate than I have time to accomplish.  It’s no wonder my life often feels like a race.  It isn’t a race I’m necessarily winning, but it is always on the go.  If I’m not asleep, then I have something that I’m doing, and usually a short list of other things that I wish I were doing, or that I’ll get to next, once I have a minute.   Even if my primary job becomes slow, there are at least a dozen things in my head that I’ve been meaning to get to for a long time, so I jump right into it.   Writing this blog, for example, is something I enjoy doing, and something I hope to get to every week.  I have to find a time slot somewhere to crank out my next entry.  As soon as this is done, I’ll be on to the next thing.   That next thing, I promise, won’t be to post a Tweet announcing that I’m bored.

You know, I even have a pile of DVD’s that I’ve purchased over the years that I’ve never watched.  I have a shelf of books I’ve never read, but I sure intended to when I bought them, and I hope some day to get to it.

A couple of days ago I was walking to a neighbor’s house for a visit and my younger son was walking beside me.  He asked, “Are you stressed?”   Actually, I think he meant to say something else, but that’s what I heard.

“I guess I’m usually stressed,” I replied.

It made me think, is the high level of activity that I maintain in my life a cause of stress?  Or is it actually a blessing?  Sure, I’d love a little more time off.  In fact, I finally grabbed my wife last night and took her out to dinner without the kids because I felt like we aren’t getting a break often enough.   I haven’t had a real “vacation” for many years.  At least not the kind of vacations I see my friends and colleagues take.  I’m often surprised when a work associate in Europe says, “We’ll be closed for the next month because of holidays.”

What?  A month-long holiday?  I don’t think I’ve had one of those in my entire life!  In fact, the longest holiday I remember taking was my 10th anniversary trip to Hawaii when I shut down everything and went to Hawaii for a week.  In all, I took off about ten days.  Even now, when I’ve announced something like, “I’ll be shutting down for a week for a vacation,” that usually means I’ll be doing something fun with my family for a 3-day weekend, and then I have some other work obligations that will keep me from getting back to the store for a while, or I have taxes I need to work on, etc.  I usually am not technically on holiday during that entire time.  I know that for Christmas I’ve taken 4 or 5 days off before, just to relax and spend time with my family.  I suppose I’m a workaholic. Sure that can sometimes mean stress, but maybe after a while, that stress level becomes the norm and you don’t notice so much anymore.

I actually took about two hours off on Monday during lunch, and I did something meaningless, but fun.  I plotted a road trip that would take about 33 days to complete, if you count extra days spent in certain locations.  The total journey was just over 10,000 miles driving.  It would pass through a couple dozen US states and three Canadian territories, stopping in several major cities and some smaller scenic spots.  Of course, this is a fantasy trip.   I can’t imagine ever pulling it off in reality because it would cost something like $10,000 to make the trip (money I don’t have), and when would I ever have 33 days to drive a big loop around the country?  But after showing it to my family (particularly to my older son), everyone was cheering,  “We should really do it!”  Knowing full well we couldn’t, we still talked about it and imagined what it would be like to live on the road as a family for more than a month, with a drive time that amounted to seven complete days (about 165 hours of driving).   Do you want to see the route?  Here it is:

Durrant Fantasy Road Trip

Durrant Fantasy Road Trip

Of course, part of our conversation about this trip was all the things we would do during the trip.  Seriously, who could think of something more boring than driving 5, 6, 7, 8 or more hours per day?  But no!  We’d film a documentary about the trip.  We’d film and edit several music videos along the way.  We’d take thousands of photos.  We’d blog about each day’s events.  We’d have a DVD and screen in the car to watch movies.  We’d see all the sights.  We’d stop and visit distant family members while making the trip, and meet up with friends for lunch.  There would be nothing boring about spending 33 days on the road together.

I can’t help but think that being busy is a good thing.  I can look back and see things that I’ve been able to get done, and it makes me happy.  If you’ve ever been interested in hiking, then you know the thrill of reaching the peak of the mountain and looking down to see how far you’ve come.  Whey do people hike mountains?  Because it’s there!  It wants to be climbed, and you want to be able to stand on the top and say, “I did it!”  Well, you didn’t really beat the mountain– it’s still there the next day after you’ve left, begging to be climbed again.  But for a moment, you were there.   That’s kind of how I feel when I look at something I did with my time.  At least for a moment it feels like I did something big, and I reached some kind of summit.  Then I move on to the next mountain.

Yep, it’s true.  I no longer know what it means to be bored.  Actually, I’m glad for that, because there are too many things to do in life.  There are too many things that are more important than silence.  There are too many opportunities awaiting.  There are too many friends to visit.  There are too many songs and stories to write.  There is just too much to do in one lifetime to ever find myself bored.  I’ll take the stress willingly and even embrace it if I must.

-Todd

Aug
26

As most of my regular readers know, keeping my business alive the last couple of years has been an ongoing struggle.  That fight seems to be leading to one particular path with a couple of goals:

First of all, the focus of A Different Drum’s store needs to become tighter.  Rather than branching out and trying to cover too much in terms of the shear numbers of products and the kinds of music carried.  The inventory needs to be thinned out and the music offered needs to focus strongly on a niche that is the least satisfied by other businesses in our “scene”.   To some, this may seem counter intuitive.  After all, wouldn’t a small business that is struggling try to become larger and more all-encompassing?  Well, no.  Actually, many businesses that face serious threat end up cutting back, cutting costs, finding a tighter focus, and heading in a direction that targets a specific consumer base rather than trying to compete on too many fronts.  We’ve already seen this done within the “industrial” music scene by big players.  Look at Metropolis Records, for example.  For as long as A Different Drum has been in business, Metropolis has not only been a label but has been a one-stop distributor and mail-order for all things industrial, gothic, and even synthpop.   They sold ADD releases through their online store and also to other outlets.  They imported releases from Europe and sold them both wholesale and retail.  Well, a year ago they opted out of that “we do it all” mentality and decided to only sell their own label releases.  They don’t bother with the expensive imports, and they no long stock releases from A Different Drum or any other separate label.   They turned inward toward their own label catalog and decided they’d put their focus on that.

By tightening my own focus and making sure that the inventory I carry is precisely aimed at a target audience, I can make sure that people who find themselves in that audience feel that their needs are best met through a place like A Different Drum.   If they have industrial music needs, they can turn to Metropolis.  If they have gothic needs, they can turn to Isolation Tank, or whoever.  But when they want the newest in independent electro pop and synthpop, they can turn to A Different Drum.    I have a history of selling very few units of releases that fell outside that focus anyway, even when things were good.  I could sell hundreds of a new De/Vision release, but only 2 or 3 copies of Frontline Assembly.   So, why bother with the Frontline Assembly, so to speak?

Next, I’ve had to focus all income on paying off old debts, and I needed to start paying as much as possible in advance for all new inventory.  In a world with bad economics, credit has become a near debilitating factor when it is not in your favor.  I racked up debts by trying to do too much too quickly, and that has haunted me for a long time.  If you depend on getting loans that you believe will be easily paid based on your “current situation” and then find that situation drastically changed, like it has been in my own case, then you’re in trouble.   In fact, this situation inspired the lyrics of my newest Saudade song, “Restricted”.   Listen to that song and watch the silly video here:

So, I usually pay new orders immediately, before the product is received.  I’m still paying off old bills from factory manufacturing for label releases along with old mastering costs.   I still have a payment schedule with a couple larger European distributors.  I still owe certain bands royalties.  But most of the inventory sitting on the shelves is paid.  I hope that I can keep enough business going to head even more in this general direction.   It has meant sacrifice– putting out fewer new releases and doing the few I have contracted on a slow schedule, but alas, I can’t crank up new bills faster than I can pay the old ones or I won’t be headed in the right direction.

These approaches will hopefully allow me to keep A Different Drum alive for the sake of the customers, and probably for my own sanity while allowing me to find other ways to work for a living.   Yes, it’s true.  By narrowing the focus and concentrating on what works, I hope to have enough time in my day to do other things that actually support my family.  ADD is more focused on paying off it’s debts and merely surviving.  I can’t dedicate myself full-time to that kind of business since my family requires food, shelter, etc. more than they require cool music.

Now that I’ve explained my current approach in general terms, I want to throw in some thoughts about a phone call I received yesterday.  I have a very good customer who has been loyal for years, counting on A Different Drum to hunt down the hardest-to-find CD’s of his favorite kind of music.  This guy is really cool– not only a good customer, but a good friend.  After a conversation we had on the phone about music, he seemed surprised to discover that A Different Drum and the music industry in general was barely limping along.  In his own life, where music is critical to his own happiness and even sanity, he couldn’t believe he was in the minority.  He called back about an hour later and offered a solution to my troubles.

Basically, he said, “What you need to do is move your business to Salt Lake City because we have a million people here, and you live in the country.   Nobody in the country cares about this kind of music, but I bet there are a lot of people in Salt Lake City that do.  Then you can open up a physical store again, buy a big billboard advertisement by the freeway that says GET THE BEST MUSIC IN THE WORLD and get some TV ads going.  Then everybody in Salt Lake City would want to get their stuff from you!”

Do you see how this goes against my focus?  Can you see why this would be more than the current slow death, but would bring on an almost instant death sentence for A Different Drum?   First of all, I live in a smaller town because it was the only place where my family could afford to buy a home.  Even when financial times were better, being self-employed and low income, we didn’t want to rent forever, so we had to move where we could afford house payments.  That meant moving away from the city.  Second of all, moving to Salt Lake City wouldn’t be the kind of boost in population, especially in terms of finding the demographic that likes modern synthpop, to keep a store alive.  Maybe New York City, or someplace like that…  I only have a handful of current customers in the Salt Lake City area (this friend is one of them).

Next, look at the expenses.  You suddenly have to find an extra $1000 per month, at least, just to pay rent on a small retail location, not to mention properly equipping that location in the first place.  Then you have to pay $100 per month for that big billboard that nobody would care about.   Then TV advertising…ouch!   How many CD’s would I have to sell of artists nobody has heard of to pay those kinds of bills?  I can tell you already, the only store in Salt Lake City that used to sell synthpop, industrial, gothic, alternative, etc. died a few years ago because it could not generate enough CD sales to even pay their minimal rent.  It was a hopeless cause.  You can’t move enough product to do it, and you have to maintain all your store hours as well, which can be costly.   Running mail-order, once I’m done shipping the orders, updating the catalog, etc. I can go do other things rather than stand around and wait for a customer to walk in.

I asked my friend, “Do you remember Media Play?”

“Yes, they were awesome!”

“And where are they now?”

“Well, they all closed down.  I don’t know why!”

Let me explain.  Media Play was a branch of Sam Goody Music.  Do you even remember them?  That was a store in almost every shopping mall on the west coast…maybe even beyond.   They opened about six “Media Play” stores which were like super-centers for music, movies, video games, and books.  Sure, they were fun to visit.  But they DIED.  They want bankrupt, right along with all those mall stores.  They’ve been gone for years.   So, I told my friend, “The reason they are gone is because they had big stores and big bills and TV ads, and they couldn’t sell enough music and movies to pay for it all.”   Heck, we’re in a world where Tower Records is dead.  In fact, can you think of any free-standing music stores in your area that are still alive?  If you can, then you’re most likely in Los Angeles or New York or some such place where there are enough collectors to keep a small store open.  Most likely those are stores focused on used music.  But aside from Virgin Megastore, which is probably on a fast path to death if not for their larger focus on movies, there are very few stores left.  Do you think I want to join the ranks of all those dead music stores?  Nope.  I’ve already run a brick-and-mortar store and I closed to focus on internet sales because the expenses were just too high.

Folks, you’ve already seen the wrath of the market pull down music stores everywhere.  They are a rarity now.  Current music stores mostly live and breath only online, and even those online sellers are bleeding.   That doesn’t mean we can’t bandage the wounds, find our niche and continue on a scale that sustains come kind of viability, but it does mean you won’t be seeing a lot of positive growth anytime soon.  You won’t see MORE releases.  You’ll see fewer.  As I discussed in my last blog posting, many of the releases you see now are CDR “on-the-cheap” releases because bands see it as the only way to release at all (unfortunately).

We’re not dead yet!  Things have changed for sure.  They’ll continue to change.  But I’ll hang in there as long as I can.

-Todd